Interpersonal communication occurs when two (or a few) people talk face to face. Conversations, dialogues, and small group discussions are interpersonal exchanges. Each person also operates interpersonally during the exchange. Thus, an exchange with just two people involves at least three communication elements – the unique thinking done by each person and the overriding process created by the interpersonal exchange.
For example, imagine that you accidentally met your friend after a long time. You had a brief chat with him. But you think of meeting him again next evening. Your friend at the same time too thinks of having another meeting with you, in the afternoon, as he is leaving by the evening flight. After some discussion you agree to meet at the breakfast time as you have a busy schedule the whole afternoon.
Behavior and Interpersonal Communication:
In its simplest form, interpersonal relations are the interactions between two or more persons. We keep coming in contact with other people for personal, professional, social or business reasons. Whatever the context, there is an interaction between personalities in all these situations. Our perception about each other is based on the displayed behavior. The environment in which personal interaction takes place is
largely determined by the behavior of the parties involved.
All behaviors are motivated. The motives however, may be known or unknown, clear or unclear, controlled or uncontrolled. The net result is the variety in behaviors. Behaviors determine the quality of
interpersonal relationships by directly influencing every transaction in interaction. In the organizational
context, interpersonal relations become extremely important for smooth functioning of the system, greater coherence, and convergence of effort and minimization of conflict.
To communicate well, we need to know our frames of reference and ourselves and to be able to assess
other people. Only then can we hope to find the best ways in which to communicate effectively with
them, both to pass information and build relationships. Some of the reasons we do not assess other people well are given below:
• We assume that people would behave the same way in every situation.
• We try too hard to put everyone into consistent categories.
• We are too influenced by first impressions.
• We are positively influenced where we have common characteristics with other people, e.g. same school, same function.
• We are too influenced by apparent negative points, e.g. if someone is not very good at short-term
decision making, we might assume that he/she is not going to be good at long-term planning either.
• We make constant errors because of our own limited frames of reference and self-concept.
The Contextual View
Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in that there are few participants involved. The interact-ants are in close physical proximity to each other, there are many sensory channels used, and feedback is immediate. An important point to note about the contextual definition is that it does not take into account the relationship between the interact-ants.
Interpersonal communication is contextual
In other words, communication does not happen in isolation. There is:
• Psychological context , which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction. Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You" here refers to both participants in the interaction.)
• Relational context, which concerns your reactions to the other person--the "mix."
• Situational context deals with the psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that takes place in a restaurant.
• Environmental context deals with the physical "where" you are communicating. Furniture, location, noise level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of factors in the environmental context.
• Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If you come from a culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered rude to make long, direct eye contact, you will out of politeness avoid eye contact. If the other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye contact signals trustworthiness, then we have in the cultural context a basis for misunderstanding.
The Developmental View:
We have many different relationships with people. Some researchers say that our definition of interpersonal communication must account for these differences. These researchers say that interacting
with a sales clerk in a store is different than the relationship we have with our friends and family members. Thus, some researchers have proposed an alternative way of defining interpersonal communication. This is called the developmental view. From this view, interpersonal communication is
defined as communication that occurs between people who have known each other for some time.
Importantly, these people view each other as unique individuals, not as people who are simply acting out social situations. Interpersonal channels include conversations and dialogues, interviews, and small groups.
Conversations involve unstructured, informal, and slightly purposive communication transactions. They
may not relate directly to business, but nonetheless contribute to smooth business functioning. Dialogues introduce purpose in relatively structured and formal transactions. The interview is a special type of dialogue. It involves purposes such as appraising an applicant for a job or disseminating information to the media.
In the directive interview, the interviewer commands the transaction. In the nondirective interview, both parties give direction to the interview. The stress interviewer uses emotion-laden questions to determine how well the stress interviewer handles stress. The depth interview involves a directive probe into the topic.
Small groups include four to ten people, with location, time, topic, purpose, formality, designation, and
cohesion having an impact on the transaction. Methods for conducting group meetings include problem-
solving, educating, brain storming, and role-playing.
Functions of Interpersonal Communication:
Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions it achieves. Whenever we engage in
communication with another person, we seek to gain information about them. We also give off information through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues. The various functions of interpersonal
communication are:
Gaining Information:
One reason we engage in interpersonal communication is that we can gain knowledge about another individual. Social Penetration Theory says that we attempt to gain information about others so that we can interact with them more effectively. We can better predict how they will think, feel, and act if we know who they are. We gain this information passively, by observing them; actively, by having others engage them; or interactively, by engaging them ourselves. Self-disclosure is often used to get information from another person.
Building a Context of Understanding:
We also engage in interpersonal communication to help us better understand what someone says in a given context. The words we say can mean very different things depending on how they are said or in what context. Content Messages refer to the surface level meaning of a message. Relationship Messages
refer to how a message is said. The two are sent simultaneously, but each affects the meaning assigned to the communication. Interpersonal communication helps us understand each other better.
Establishing Identity:
Another reason we engage in interpersonal communication is to establish an identity. The roles we play in our relationships help us establish identity. So too does the face, the public self-image we present to others. Both roles and face are constructed based on how we interact with others.
Interpersonal Needs:
Finally, we engage in interpersonal communication because we need to express and receive interpersonal needs.
The three identified needs are:
1. Inclusion: the need to establish identity with others.
2. Control: the need to exercise leadership and prove one's abilities. Groups provide outlets for this need. Some individuals do not want to be a leader. For them, groups provide the necessary control over aspects of their lives.
3. Affection: the need to develop relationships with people. Groups are an excellent way to make friends and establish relationships.
For example, imagine that you accidentally met your friend after a long time. You had a brief chat with him. But you think of meeting him again next evening. Your friend at the same time too thinks of having another meeting with you, in the afternoon, as he is leaving by the evening flight. After some discussion you agree to meet at the breakfast time as you have a busy schedule the whole afternoon.
Behavior and Interpersonal Communication:
In its simplest form, interpersonal relations are the interactions between two or more persons. We keep coming in contact with other people for personal, professional, social or business reasons. Whatever the context, there is an interaction between personalities in all these situations. Our perception about each other is based on the displayed behavior. The environment in which personal interaction takes place is
largely determined by the behavior of the parties involved.
All behaviors are motivated. The motives however, may be known or unknown, clear or unclear, controlled or uncontrolled. The net result is the variety in behaviors. Behaviors determine the quality of
interpersonal relationships by directly influencing every transaction in interaction. In the organizational
context, interpersonal relations become extremely important for smooth functioning of the system, greater coherence, and convergence of effort and minimization of conflict.
To communicate well, we need to know our frames of reference and ourselves and to be able to assess
other people. Only then can we hope to find the best ways in which to communicate effectively with
them, both to pass information and build relationships. Some of the reasons we do not assess other people well are given below:
• We assume that people would behave the same way in every situation.
• We try too hard to put everyone into consistent categories.
• We are too influenced by first impressions.
• We are positively influenced where we have common characteristics with other people, e.g. same school, same function.
• We are too influenced by apparent negative points, e.g. if someone is not very good at short-term
decision making, we might assume that he/she is not going to be good at long-term planning either.
• We make constant errors because of our own limited frames of reference and self-concept.
The Contextual View
Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in that there are few participants involved. The interact-ants are in close physical proximity to each other, there are many sensory channels used, and feedback is immediate. An important point to note about the contextual definition is that it does not take into account the relationship between the interact-ants.
Interpersonal communication is contextual
In other words, communication does not happen in isolation. There is:
• Psychological context , which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction. Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You" here refers to both participants in the interaction.)
• Relational context, which concerns your reactions to the other person--the "mix."
• Situational context deals with the psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that takes place in a restaurant.
• Environmental context deals with the physical "where" you are communicating. Furniture, location, noise level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of factors in the environmental context.
• Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If you come from a culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered rude to make long, direct eye contact, you will out of politeness avoid eye contact. If the other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye contact signals trustworthiness, then we have in the cultural context a basis for misunderstanding.
The Developmental View:
We have many different relationships with people. Some researchers say that our definition of interpersonal communication must account for these differences. These researchers say that interacting
with a sales clerk in a store is different than the relationship we have with our friends and family members. Thus, some researchers have proposed an alternative way of defining interpersonal communication. This is called the developmental view. From this view, interpersonal communication is
defined as communication that occurs between people who have known each other for some time.
Importantly, these people view each other as unique individuals, not as people who are simply acting out social situations. Interpersonal channels include conversations and dialogues, interviews, and small groups.
Conversations involve unstructured, informal, and slightly purposive communication transactions. They
may not relate directly to business, but nonetheless contribute to smooth business functioning. Dialogues introduce purpose in relatively structured and formal transactions. The interview is a special type of dialogue. It involves purposes such as appraising an applicant for a job or disseminating information to the media.
In the directive interview, the interviewer commands the transaction. In the nondirective interview, both parties give direction to the interview. The stress interviewer uses emotion-laden questions to determine how well the stress interviewer handles stress. The depth interview involves a directive probe into the topic.
Small groups include four to ten people, with location, time, topic, purpose, formality, designation, and
cohesion having an impact on the transaction. Methods for conducting group meetings include problem-
solving, educating, brain storming, and role-playing.
Functions of Interpersonal Communication:
Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions it achieves. Whenever we engage in
communication with another person, we seek to gain information about them. We also give off information through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues. The various functions of interpersonal
communication are:
Gaining Information:
One reason we engage in interpersonal communication is that we can gain knowledge about another individual. Social Penetration Theory says that we attempt to gain information about others so that we can interact with them more effectively. We can better predict how they will think, feel, and act if we know who they are. We gain this information passively, by observing them; actively, by having others engage them; or interactively, by engaging them ourselves. Self-disclosure is often used to get information from another person.
Building a Context of Understanding:
We also engage in interpersonal communication to help us better understand what someone says in a given context. The words we say can mean very different things depending on how they are said or in what context. Content Messages refer to the surface level meaning of a message. Relationship Messages
refer to how a message is said. The two are sent simultaneously, but each affects the meaning assigned to the communication. Interpersonal communication helps us understand each other better.
Establishing Identity:
Another reason we engage in interpersonal communication is to establish an identity. The roles we play in our relationships help us establish identity. So too does the face, the public self-image we present to others. Both roles and face are constructed based on how we interact with others.
Interpersonal Needs:
Finally, we engage in interpersonal communication because we need to express and receive interpersonal needs.
The three identified needs are:
1. Inclusion: the need to establish identity with others.
2. Control: the need to exercise leadership and prove one's abilities. Groups provide outlets for this need. Some individuals do not want to be a leader. For them, groups provide the necessary control over aspects of their lives.
3. Affection: the need to develop relationships with people. Groups are an excellent way to make friends and establish relationships.
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